About the Living Inquiries

As humans, what we want most is to be happy, to be free of suffering; but while the desire to be free of suffering is universal,  how we each go about trying to find this mythical place of no suffering is unique.  I say mythical because we never really seem to get there, or we arrive briefly and then appear to lose it again, leaving us back with our search for some sort of wholeness or completeness that we think is missing.

We don’t want to truly feel the uncomfortable stories that we tell about ourselves, consciously or unconsciously - I’m Ugly, I’m a Failure, I’m Not Lovable, I’m All Alone, I’m Scared, I’m Not Good Enough – what we call in the Inquiries the “deficient self”.  So we turn to food, exercise, alcohol, drugs, shopping, sex, money, fame, accomplishment, TV, surfing the internet, even self-improvement or spiritual seeking as a attempt to avoid the pain that these stories cause; but it is only a temporary fix and we cannot ever truly be at peace with our present experience.

The Living Inquiries, as developed by Scott Kiloby, offer a powerful way to see through these stories and to be free of the suffering that they cause.  This is not psychotherapy, but rather at totally different way of looking in which the mind is not trying to analyze anything.  I like the analogy that it is like having a stack of boxes in the corner with labels that might say “I’m Ashamed” or “I Can’t Do Anything Right” and you’ve been avoiding looking in them because you are afraid of what you might find.  Using these inquires, we gently unpack these boxes, looking together to see what is inside, to see if we can actually find what you thought was in there.  What you discover when you really look is that the boxes don’t actually contain anything scary.  When this is seen, the limiting stories dissolve and you can see for yourself that true happiness and freedom from suffering are already right here.

This quote from Scott that sums it up perfectly for me and is also my experience:  A great misperception about the unfindability inquiries, before people do them, is that they leave one in a place where “nothing exists.”  This kind of conclusion itself is challenged in this work.  The stuff we actually see with people and in our own lives as facilitators is a greater sense of well-being and ease in life, a deep peace and relaxation around stories that are self-limiting, a greater ability to express who we are and what we want, less compulsive behaviors and addictions, and a simple joy of living that includes the allowance of all polarities from sadness to bliss.

Below is a sample video of how the inquiries work.  To hear Scott talk about the Living Inquiries, go to http://livingrelationship.org/audio/.

The lovely images on this site were taken by my friend Michele Penner.  You can check out more of her work at http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/michele-penner.html.

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